Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Finding out

So You know how on that movie with Natalie portman, Anywhere but here? She is in California and she trys to find her dad and when she does the call is stale and doesn't really turn out how she had hoped? She has pictured him missing her and wanting to see her? I am starting to wonder if I find him if that's how it will be.

I found out about 2 weeks ago that the man who I thought was my Dad all 24 years of my life was indeed not my "Real" Dad. I had always wondered why I looked nothing like my 3 siblings or why I was 5'1 and the rest of the kids were well over six feet. I always joked about it but never thought it was true. Until the day she walked in and said she had something to tell me. I wasent mad, I was sad for him that he couldnt be a part of my life. All these years she asked me to find an old Boyfriend of hers. Said he looked just like Al from Home improvement. I blew it off thinking oh Boy moms old Fling. When she told me that he was my Dad I got a little dizzy.I still get Dizzy when I think of Him. My Siblings and Dad all knew and never felt I was ready to know. My Dad doesnt even know that I know. Its better that way.

Back in 1986 her and my Dad had split up and she worked with Birth Dad who I will call Al Borland. At a Hospital, She got pregnant with me and went back to my Dad, Its a long story I suppose. She said he might not want to meet me but I could try. My Sister said I look just like him. I think I want to see what he looks like more than I really want to meet him. I found him and hour away. Not Married No Kids. I sent him a letter he never picked it up from the Post office, Is he dead? Has he lost his mind? Did his house wash away with all this rain? I forsure don't want to think that he may have his own life and doesn't want anything to do with his Daughter......... I am here if you wanna find me.......


  1. Hey girl :) I am in the same boat. No one knows. My dad isn't my dad either, my story goes like this. My mom really liked this guy at school, they were friends but nothing more. One day they were hanging out and they ended up sleeping together (she was 14) well, she got preggo. She told him and he said no way and she never heard from him again until after I was born. I was 5 days old and he showed up with his gf. sat down with me and said "wow she looks just like me" then left. After that he didn't see me til I was almost one, he showed up at the park and just sat and watched me for hours. That's it. My aunt always made little comments about me not being related and finally my mom confirmed it,I finally got the guts to ask his name when the divorce happened. He lives in Lancaster still and I have his phone number but no guts to call. I'm always here for ya woman! But I totally know what you're going through.

  2. I just really cant believe it :( I am happy to have you as a friend who knows how it is.

  3. Anytime :) trust me I know it sucks and you have all these odd emotions about the whole thing. It's a crazy feeling.

  4. :) Love ya girl you have some real awesome friends and you are very lucky to have one that is so close to you that is in your shoes too and can relate to your situation I hope you get what you are looking for and I wish you all the best in the out come oxoxox